Many of us by now know that the realities of loving a LEO can mean late or missed dinners, attending family functions alone, broken plans, and sleeping in a half empty bed…just to name a few (don’t even get me started on how just once I’d like to face the front door instead of the wall at a restaurant). So often I find myself studying the tougher side of being married to a LEO because I’m constantly trying to figure out how to be stronger, how to get through lonely nights, and how to manage my worry and anxiety as it sky rockets when he walks out the door for his shift.
For almost 29 years I have been married to my LEO and I can say in all honestly that there has been plenty in this lifestyle that just flat-out hits hard. So why even attempt it?
If you are new to loving a LEO, and you’re asking yourself the same question, let me be absolutely clear…all of the good definitely outweighs the bad! We tend to find ourselves easily discussing how to get through the tough stuff, but I think it is just as important to take a minute and focus on all of the amazing things that are a part of being a LEOW.
Here are just a few examples off the top of my head:
The decision to “protect & serve” your community is an honorable and admirable choice. Not everyone has what it takes to do this job. My LEO takes pride in what he does each day and I can’t say how proud I am of him enough!
When we are out and about together, I just feel safe. As often happens after years of training and doing this job, my LEO is constantly aware of his surroundings while I, on the other hand, often have no clue of what street we’re even on.
Being a LEOW means having an instant blue family to lean on. By no means does every career offer this…it is a truly special phenomenon. I haven’t met even a fraction of the officers at his department or their wives, but should we need them, I know they are there for us and vice versa.
I have become more flexible and resilient than I ever thought I would be. There have been trying and challenging moments for sure: feeling like a single parent, changing plans at the last minute, feeling resentful…feeling guilty for feeling resentful…but all in all, I think I’ve learned how to adapt and to be more resourceful on my own when I need to be. That might mean scrambling to find a ride home from a friend when we are at a ball field and he needs to get to a SWAT call. It also might mean crawling out of bed at the crack of dawn to scour the house for 20 minutes looking for some piece of his equipment that has mysteriously gone missing only to finally hear, “Oh hey, I just remembered I left it in my locker at work.” (Swell). You arrive to work tired as heck, looking 27 years older than you are, and down 3 pots of coffee, but you do get through it.
Most of the time this career comes with great benefits. We’ve been blessed with health insurance, a solid retirement plan, and financial stability. The way current events of the world have been over the past year, not everyone gets to say that and our family is extremely thankful.
Last, but not least…quite simply, I love my LEO. When I married this man he was not a police officer, but it was made clear to me from day one that it was his goal in life to become one. It went from being his goal, to our goal as I helped him fill out a 29 page background information packet…on a typewriter…like way back when the delete button was a bottle of white out…I’m talking before free drink refills even. When you love someone, you want nothing more than to see that person happy and fulfilled. He has never once spoken of changing paths. It’s who he is supposed to be and it thrills me to know we got him there together so many years ago.
If you’re struggling today, I encourage you to dig down deep, and take a moment to look at all of the good that comes from life in a law enforcement family. Sometimes I know, when you’re in the thick of the tough stuff, the good can seem hard to find, but I promise it’s there. What's your good for today?
l Sandee l
