“I have training today.” Who knew those four, little words could put my mind at such ease! I don’t care what training it is...my LEO could be learning how to fold origami penguins for all I care. It just means a day off from patrol and instantly, that part of my brain that holds that bit of constant, nagging uneasiness will relax for a few hours.
What exactly do I tend to worry about while he’s on patrol you ask?
What if my LEO is attacked?
What am I going to make for dinner?
What if my LEO ends up on YouTube?
Was that mole there yesterday?
What if my LEO has to use deadly force?
Did I remember to feed the dog?
What if my LEO has to witness something horrific?
Did I forget to put on deodorant?
What if my LEO is tragically injured?
Happy you asked? I’m not saying I drown myself in fear on a constant basis, but worrying about my LEO is definitely tucked away in the back of my mind while I go about my daily business. Somedays it lives more at the forefront of my brain than others. Some nights when I can’t seem to put it to rest, I lose sleep over it. After recent months of protests, riots, calls for defunding, calls to eliminate qualified immunity, social media trolls, and the anti-police rhetoric that is thrown in our faces any time we dare turn on the news, I know many of us live with these same concerns on some level every single day.
Years ago I remember asking an older, much wiser spouse of a LEO how she dealt with such fears and without hesitation she replied, “God could take him home while he’s working out on the streets or while he’s lying in bed next to me.” That logic has stuck with me for decades...why make myself miserable by spending my hours worrying about something I simply can’t control? Somedays that's easier said than done though. She also told me to keep life in perspective. There are plenty of dangers out in the world other than police work (as we’ve discovered by going down those awful, shiny, metal slides at the park in the heat of summer…yipes!).
If you’re anything at all like me, and maybe you’re finding that you are living life a bit stressed lately, I would strongly encourage you to pray, give your worries to the Lord, and lay them at His feet. Then, (again if you’re like me), you’ll need do this over…and over…and over.
I also find that jumping into an activity can easily change my focus and alleviate some stress. Take a crack at baking a new recipe, start a gratitude journal, go for a quick run, organize the pantry, give yourself a pedicure, make a Christmas ornament…heck I’ve tried it all when I’m worried…ok…not the running part…because…well…I tried, but I kept spilling my wine! (Bahahaha!)
I wish I could tell you that I sail through my days trusting God to take care of every concern that I tend to hold on to. I’d love to tell you that I don’t have a care in the world because I’ve learned to take John 14:1 (“Don’t let your hearts be troubled, trust in God trust also in me,”) to heart and walk with it without fail. Maybe someday I’ll tell you I’ve got my act together and have this LEO life all figured out...but that's certainly not today.
I do believe, however, that just because we are nervous or stressed at times, that doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t trust the Lord to take care of us, our LEOs, and our families. It simply means we are human and we might be having a tough time.
Remember, Ladies, we have a God who loves us and wants the best for us. He knew we’d need our sisters in blue to lean on, to worry with, to be proud with, and to just have someone else out there who has a bit of insight and understanding into our daily lives. Even though we’ve never met and may never actually say a word in person to one another…whether it’s a training day for my LEO and my mind is calm, or a nerve-wracking day or night of working patrol on the streets…I am truly thankful for the women in this group and the support I find in it. I hope you are too.
l Sandee l