My LEO and I have been married almost 6 years now, together 10. All of those years he’s been on nightshift. This fall he switched over to a more daytime/afternoon schedule. It’s heavenly, most of the time. Now, if you are reading this and your husband is on nights and you kind of want to punch me for adding in that “most of the time” disclaimer. Hold tight.
I have spent the last 9.5 years doing my own thing in the evening. Before we had kids, I was busy with friends, exercising, reading, keeping the house in order, & my own hobbies. Once we had our first baby, my nights were busy with feedings, diaper changes, laundry, & dinner. Throw in our second, and there were days I felt like I was sinking in a boat and all I had to bail me out was a tiny baby food spoon. Good times. But we did have our routine down to a science, it worked for us.
It was exhausting, tiring, overwhelming, heck sometimes I was jealous he got to go to work while I stayed home doing the day-to-day life routine at home. Looking back now I am SO thankful he had those shifts when he did. I got to be home with my babies every night. I got to be the one to snuggle them asleep, rock them as long as I wanted, be the hero snuggler in the middle of the night.
Were there nights I was so tired I thought I may die? Yes. Were there days I wanted to feed them cereal and do a quick huggies wipe bath and call it good? (Who am I kidding, I may have done that once..or twice.) The nights where he was home with us kind of threw off my game. Admittedly, I would even get annoyed once he was home because I ran a tight ship and he was wrecking our routine. How terrible of me, right? No one wrote in the LEOW handbook that this might happen! Where was all the unsolicited advice on this topic?! It was always, “Enjoy the times you do get together, never take anything for granted…”
I felt so guilty for having those frustrations and tried to tamp them down. I asked my close friends if they had the same feelings- they didn’t. I was thinking I was crazy there for a while. Then I realized we’re human. Our thoughts are valid. It’s a tough life we are living and it’s not one size fits all.
So, if you are in the throes of the baby, toddler, nightshift, working full time, drowning stage….I feel you. It’s ok to feel like you can’t let go of any controls and that you must stay on schedule or else the world will end. I promise it won’t. It will bring a smile to your face when your google photo memories pop up and it’s your husband and dirty toddler at 9pm giggling and eating Hershey kisses. You probably won’t even remember the next day when said toddler screamed and didn’t want to go to bed without a Hershey kiss, ha! The small moments matter. The things that seem annoying now, probably won’t in a few years. So, buckle down, let go of the controls for a second, & sit back and enjoy the extra set of hands.
l Danielle l