You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup

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You can’t pour from an empty cup. My cup has been on the verge of being empty for a bit now. I blame my trailblazing, overly positive efforts earlier this year, but I know it’s a multitude of reasons. I’m struggling with just finishing my day-to-day tasks in ‘real’ life, let alone the extra load of things I do outside of home/work life. I volunteer a lot, I blog here, I coach on the side. Plus, I had this bright idea to sign our 4-year-old up for hockey (please remind me to not sign up for more stuff, k). I was sitting on the couch last night, with a pile of toddler sized laundry in front of me, a kitchen with a mountain of dishes, a garage with like 9 cats-yes 9. Don’t worry mama cat is going Thursday to get fixed, and all the kittens are going to great homes. I looked at my husband and asked if it would ever slow down. I mean seriously, it was COVID frantic right away in 2020, then it was the riots/protests in the summer, more COVID, more protests, and the saga continues 18 months later.

I am burnt TF out. I am tired. I am tired of the anger in our country. I feel like everywhere I look there is anger. I wish I could turn it off. I can’t. I’m married to a cop where if the anger isn’t pointed at them right now, it’s pointed at healthcare and that’s where I spend my days. I’m exhausted, burnt out, looking for a way out of my career every single day. Wishing I could just hide with my little family and pretend the outside world isn’t so dang ugly. Unfortunately, our spouses have to go out and continue to deal with the ugly every day, and so alas, we cannot pretend we live in a fantasy world even if I still sometimes pretend, I do. I hope that someday we can all find common ground again, I hope it’s sooner rather than later, but it seems to just be getting worse.

I was on the verge of turning off my social media pages again but who am I kidding, I can’t stop watching mindless tik-toks at 10pm (but seriously they’re so funny, they make me happy, haha). So instead, I continued in the cycle. Then voila, I read a minimalist family’s article about how all the stuff in their lives impeded them from truly living their best life. And if you know me, living my best life is my motto. I want to be happy. I want to be FREE of negative energy. So this last week I have been meaningful with my time. If my baby wants to snuggle, I stop what I’m doing, and I snuggle. If one wants me to get in the tub with them and play mermaids, you best bet I’m going to be a mermaid. If they want cereal and chocolate milk for supper, sounds good to me because then I don’t have to cook (I promise they eat balanced meals often, even though I make it seem like we live off Cheetos and McNuggets). The minimalist article was great, though, I don’t think I could follow a minimalist lifestyle. Girlfriend said she only had one cardigan. ONE. I have like 39 and still find myself wanting another one (maybe I have a problem…no, I don’t, I’m perfect. Ignore my wandering brain today).

Once I started on one article, I was up until 1 AM reading all these other random things; my Facebook algorithm knows I have ADD, I swear. But, the articles I was reading had me thinking. WHY are things getting like this? The fighting, and true anger between people. I believe it’s a mutual misunderstanding, coupled with the social media component that easily lets us forget there are people behind that profile picture. I want us all to stop and think before we type: “Is this comment going to be helpful, or is it going to hurt someone’s feelings?” If it’s going to be helpful, by all means, post it (please post how to clean your house with minimal effort.) If it’s just going to make someone feel bad, then don’t post it. With it being September and suicide awareness month it’s time we all collectively say, “Enough.” And don’t give in to the burning desire to post something petty/rude, even if you think it’ll make you feel better, down the road it won’t. Take the time, reflect. Is it going to be helpful, or will this hurt someone? I mean we can almost always tell if we are going to hurt someone’s feelings.

If we all take small steps to come together again, we can, and we will. It’s been done before. The country has been divided and come back together, usually through a tragedy. So this time let’s not wait for the tragedy. Let’s build each other up. Foster our relationships in a positive way. Make our family smile, be there for our friends who are struggling. Check in with one person a day, even if that person is yourself. Check yourself, are you spinning around, just surviving? Take a second and refocus. I want us all to thrive. Life is too short. It’s too unpredictable. Our spouses’ careers are crazy. Enjoy the days we have with them. Laugh a lot. Let go of the petty things (like the laundry on the floor, dirty work boots that tracked mud all over, the heavy belt random places.) and embrace it because we can make a difference, we are here to make a difference, and I truly believe that! Happy Thursday friends, may the next week be a good one!

l Danielle l