One day last summer I had run out of the office to grab a salad for lunch from the grocery store around the corner. It seemed like a simple enough thing to do and I didn’t think much of it all. I was minding my own business, in my own crazy little head, thinking about what I needed to do back at work. As I walked out of the door and made my way back to my car, I stopped suddenly, shocked and stunned to see a red SUV in the parking lot, covered from end to end in the words, “ACAB, Defund the Police,” and specifically, “XX (insert explicative here) City-my-husband-works-for PD pigs,” written over and over again in what I assume to be shoe polish…all over the body and windows of the vehicle. I just stood there feeling punched in the gut.
This vehicle’s message rang loud and clear (which I’m partly sure was…I couldn’t care less about my car’s paint job). In my opinion, this vehicle, and I assume its occupants, were filled with hate. I would love to be proven wrong, but that’s all I could manage to see. They certainly weren’t thanking my LEO for his service. To make myself feel better, I immediately started texting my friends and family. I was just horrified and needed them to feel horrified too…and so…I vented.
As 2020 prodded on, and the riots and protests progressed and gathered momentum, I developed a horrible habit of reading tons and tons of comments on social media news posts about police. I quickly became addicted. I would start my day off after a great night’s sleep (unless someone forgot to turn off his radio while it was charging and I jumped out of my skin in the middle of the night at strange voices in my closet), with a strong cup of coffee and a happy face…until I started scrolling. My husband isn’t on social media so I was sure to share with him my concerns and vented constantly about what I was seeing.
Just as social media can help us feel connected to others, especially during a crazy pandemic, it can also be detrimental to our mental health when we let it get the better of us. It’s no surprise that my anxiety soon skyrocketed and I felt a sense of depression settling in.
As much good as healthy venting can do by relieving tension and stress, toxic venting can be extremely detrimental. By telling the same negative story over and over again it can make it tough to move past a situation. I was guilty of giving more of a voice to those owners of the red SUV and to the owners of the horrific, anti-police comments on social media than they deserved.
Funny how God can place the simplest of things in our faces to wake us up and change our focus. I am so grateful that He never fails to meet me where I am…and where I was, was in my daily funk, on my sofa, scrolling through the internet when I came across this simple quote,
“I stopped venting and started praying because I didn’t need sympathy, I needed strength.” – Author Unknown
Maybe you’ve seen it before, but I never had and it definitely struck a chord with me. I finally realized what I had been doing and knew I needed to make some changes. My venting wasn’t helping my LEO get through his day. It wasn’t encouraging at all. To be honest it really wasn’t helping me either, even if it may have gained me some sympathy here and there.
Every day I am trying to do my best not to fall into my old habits. I am very careful about my time on social media, I have removed several of the accounts and pages that I followed, and limit how much news I watch. Today when I find myself worried or anxious, or even angry at the things going on in this world and what my LEO faces on a regular basis, I do call up a friend who will listen…but first ask them to just pray for me….and often times I find that’s all I needed.
l Sandee l