A younger friend recently asked me if I thought she could be a LEOW. My first reaction was, “Sure, you can.” As I started realistically evaluating the last 24 years, I stood by my “sure you can,” but realized it comes with a decision. The decision you must make is between the hard of loving a police officer and living the lifestyle that accompanies it, and the hard of living a life without that officer. As in all areas of life, you have to pick your hard. One of the hardest parts of this life is the loneliness and all the things that you need to do alone. One of the best things about this life is that you’re never alone. Police wives don’t need to meet you to be behind you, to stand with you and to cheer you on. Truth is, we don’t even have to live near you. We are all in this life together and you’ll be hard pressed to find a force of women anywhere else as motivated to support one another.
Unlike most of our officers, we didn’t grow up dreaming of this life. It wasn’t the happily ever after we imagined in our seven-year-old wedding fantasies. Maybe you even promised your dad (like I did) that you’d never marry a Police Officer (in hopes of sparing him, and yourself, from this life.) The truth is this life is as much a calling for you as it is for our Officers. Only the select few are strong, yet soft, enough to be the helpmate of those who hold the thin blue line.
While you were created by our Father to be the one standing beside him, you were never meant to do it alone. This life is like the ride at the amusement park with the sign “no single riders allowed.” So, find yourself a partner, someone who is ahead of you in the journey and is doing it well. Look for someone who is accomplishing the goals you have for yourself, your relationship, and your family. Build an intentional relationship with her. Do all the fun things, but also, walk out this calling with her. When the news is shouting too loudly, she will be your support and your voice of reason. She will be the one telling you to turn it off. When society is making a target of the ones we love, she is the safe place to share your fears and your worries. She understands, she’s been there before and she’s walking it out now. She is the place you can say the things we are too politically correct to say out loud to anyone else. When it’s an hour past shift change and your officer isn’t home yet and is not answering the phone, she will be the one who does. She will remind you that he probably left the phone in his car or is just swapping stories with the squad after shift; she will speak reality into the irrational thoughts racing through your mind. When it’s a holiday and he’s working, she will be the one to celebrate with you. When those inevitable things have happened and he can’t (or won’t) talk about it, she’ll be the one to go over it (a million times) with you. When it’s that day you can’t get the real possibilities of what he does and is willing to do out of your mind, she’s the one to pray with you, to remind you of his calling, to point out his training and refocus your thoughts on the one who has written all of his days. When he gets that promotion, she’ll be the first one to call you. When you can’t sit on the couch one more Friday night alone, she’ll have the plans that keep you both laughing. When it’s been the day that is too much for words, she will be the comforting silence.
As you walk this life out and begin to get your feet under you, look back and find someone just getting to the front of the line, reach out and ride through this journey with her.
l Kaycie W. l