My husband and I had a beautiful date night this past Friday. Our girls spent the night at their grandma’s and we spent an entire evening catching up. We went to dinner and then did a little shopping. Then we came home and had a fire in the backyard and even snuck in a long late-night walk around town. We recreated the kind of night we used to have before our littles came along. We talked a lot. We talked about everything and nothing. It was easily the best night we’ve had in a very long time and so very needed.
We talked about what life would have looked like had he started in LE earlier in life. It made me wonder if I had been a young wife when he became a LEO if I would have been able to handle the fear and worry as well as I do know. We had both lived a lifetime of experiences before he switched gears and started this LE adventure. I was in my late 30’s and he was in his early 30’s. Yes, I am 5 years older than him. When I was younger, I was a ball of worry and anxiety. I focused on all of the worst-case scenarios in every situation. I can’t imagine how hard having a husband in law enforcement would have been for me at that point in my life. I can’t say that I never find worry or fear creeping in, but at 44 years-old, I am able to control my emotions a little more easily. I am fairly certain that has come with life experience and acceptance of what is out of my control. Or maybe it has all come down to my ability to hand it over to God. Whatever the reason, I am grateful that my husband didn’t answer God’s call until I was ready.
That conversation also got me thinking about my husband’s ability to push fear aside. He is human, after all. Doesn’t that mean he has to feel fear in certain situations as well? Of course he does, but somehow our LEOS have the ability to push that aside to answer the call. There is no doubt in my mind that this job is not meant for everyone. I don’t think all the training in the world could make me push the fear aside, but this is something that the men and women who wear the badge do on a daily basis. Every domestic disturbance, check person, 911 investigate, or traffic stop could ultimately end in a fight or injury. Every time a LEO stops out on a crash they could be struck by a vehicle. The outcome of any call is never known, and they each understand that, but yet they continue to push that fear aside and do whatever is necessary to save lives and protect their communities.
I don’t tell you any of this to invoke fear and worry. I am telling you this to remind you that you have been called to walk alongside your LEO and because of this, you must be brave. You are so much braver than you realize. Life is beautiful and messy and sometimes filled with the unknown and that’s okay. None of us have any idea what tomorrow holds, but that should never stop us from living in each moment and finding the incredible joy that each breath can bring. When your husband straps on his body armor each day, you can put on your emotional armor. God will provide you with strength if you hand your worries over to Him each day. I will leave you with my all-time favorite Bible verse. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
l Michelle l