Wise words that my grandma shared with me years ago are: never go to sleep angry with a loved one. Instead, we should make up as best as we can — or “table the problem” until tomorrow — and be sure to say “I love you” before we close our eyes.
A police officer’s wife must follow this advice 24 hours a day because as our officer walks out the door for a shift, we may be walking to our bed for the night. Whether our LEO works evenings, days, or afternoons, a cop’s wife must be extra forgiving and extra patient — even when we don’t want to be. Because here’s the truth: when a cop leaves for work, a caring goodbye is the ultimate “better safe than sorry.” Before our LEO leaves, the only words on our lips should be about love, appreciation, and wishes for safety. Those are the words that matter most and last the longest.
A cop’s wife knows her officer deals with enough problems and conflicts “out there” all day (or night), day after day (or night after night). That’s why an officer’s wife must wait until later to resolve issues at home. This is especially crucial nowadays when cops’ shifts are longer, more stressful, and more dangerous as part of the “new norm.” These days, an officer’s wife must try to help build up her LEO’s self-worth because our officer may feel more unappreciated in the community than ever before. And nowadays, things may feel more uncertain.
But one thing is certain: every cop’s wife waits for her LEO’s shift to be over... and for her officer to walk back through that door. And if we’re angry with one another, that shift seems to last so much longer.
That’s why an officer’s wife should try to set aside issues, bitterness, or resentments until her LEO’s shift is over. It’s a suggestion that’s easier said than done. Similar to the compromise of “agreeing to disagree,” in a cop’s wife’s life it is important to give your officer peace of mind before their shift. A cop’s wife must take a deep breath and realize that an unpaid bill or an undone chore is not worth arguing about as our loved one leaves to protect someone else’s wife and family.
Depending on the seriousness of the issue between you two, different strategies may help “table it” before a shift:
Apologize sincerely, if you feel you should.
If there is enough time, try to talk it out; take turns listening to each other.
Tell your LEO a joke or text your LEO a meme! It will probably be unexpected and could break the ice and tension.
Agree to disagree for the moment.
Tell your officer three components of your life together that you truly appreciate. Or write them down and put that list in your officer’s hand — or lunch bag, vest, or uniform pocket.
Call for a “time out,” because sometimes what we need is just... time. Maybe by the end of your officer’s shift, enough hours will have passed that you both will be ready to communicate in a way that moves you toward a solution.
Regardless of which strategy works best for you and your LEO, a cop’s wife must assure her officer that it is okay for their issue to be resolved another day.
So before our officers walk out the door, for every single shift, let’s not be angry. Let’s promise our LEO that all is well, they are loved, and the family they leave at home is appreciative and proud. Because we are.
l Christine l